Shai”tzuk

You have been with us for eight years, you are one of the family, and that is not taken for granted.

When we first came to meet you at the Emergency Foster home, you were busy playing a computer game, and when we asked you if you wanted to get to know us, you shook your head no, with your eyes lowered. A start like this is complex yet understandable and a sign of the storms to come because what child really wants to grow up by another family?

After three days, we brought you home, a young, beautiful boy with painfilled eyes.

…That same pain is visible in your nursery school picture, in your picture from your after-care graduation, while you are playing in the afternoon with friends, and in other photos. The scenery changes, the people around you change, you may have grown a few inches, but the deep sadness in your eyes is present and is heart-piercing.

Today, when you looked at me with your beautiful eyes, I saw insight, laughter, and curiosity. You asked me to tell you about your early days with us because you don’t remember and you don’t recall what happened in your younger years before you came to us.

I told you about your first month when I was charmed by your gentleness, from the questions you asked, how you communicated with us, and how you integrated into the family. I reminded you how, on the first days, you spoke in a whisper, and as the days went on, you began speaking in a louder, more confident manner with sounds of joy and laughter, skips and jumps, all kinds of games, drawings with stories. A sweet grace period.

And I told you about that sudden outburst that opened the floodgates by you, letting out intense anger and aggression in various ways…for an extended period. You asked—what did I actually do? And upon hearing the examples that I shared, you looked surprised…you did not remember being violent towards us, or saying that you will only listen to your biological mother, or the times that you ran away from home, or the vegetable garden that you destroyed, or the rocks that you threw inside the house, and more…

This is how we summed up the lengthy and tortuous process that we went through together, where you slowly loosened the ties of exclusive loyalty to your mother, when alongside your relationship with her, you became like one of the family, part of the furniture, with a strong sense of belonging.

And for a moment, the various images of your eyes passed through my mind, telling different stories, water that reflected the pain at the beginning of your journey. Images that make us proud of your authentic and uncompromising path on your developmental journey.

Love you